Mindful Ways to Stay Calm When Others Lose Control

Over the past decade, I've learned to control my reactions when others behave in ways that don’t meet my expectations. Instead of getting angry or argumentative, I’ve been working on remaining calm and composed.

Why Expectations Cause Frustration

As humans, we all have expectations about how things should be. We anticipate that our family will act kindly, our friends will be supportive, and strangers will behave decently. However, when reality doesn’t align with these expectations, we often feel triggered. This can lead to anger, frustration, and arguments. It's important to realise that these feelings arise because of our expectations, not the actions of others.

Accepting What You Can't Control

The truth is, you can’t control other people’s behaviour or every situation that arises. What you can control is your response. The key is to let calmness be your superpower. The next time you feel yourself getting angry, take a long, deep breath. Deep breathing helps to release tension and calm your body’s fight-or-flight response, allowing you to think more clearly and respond more constructively.

The Importance of Deep Breathing

For example, when another driver cuts you off in traffic, instead of reacting aggressively, try to inhale deeply and exhale slowly. A poll we conducted with new course students showed that overreacting while driving…